Indrid Cold @fidgety@hackers.town
Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust.
Hi. It's me, the Flatwoods Monster. I bet you fell for my pretending-to-be-human trick. I know, I know, but it gets 'em every time.
So, you found it. The official online presence of the Flatwoods Monster.
Flatwoods Monster Facts:
1. I am the Flatwoods Monster.
2. An apple a day will not keep me away. I am sorry, but apples have no effect on me.
3. My favorite food is peanut butter and tinfoil sandwiches.
4. I do not understand ceiling fans.
5. I won the Nobel Prize for Scariness in 1987.
6. I never took the tags off of my Beanie Babies.
7. My favorite book is "Windows for Dummies".
8. I know monsters.
What the hell is this, Corel? Get your shit together.
The book that is mandatory reading at every data collection and aggregation company
"So much of how I interact with social media is 'How do I uplift connectivity, vulnerability, and intimacy and how do I do away with the rest?'
I'm not here for the callout culture...for the takedown culture...for even just repeating all the horrific news....Where can I find the most loving, generative, creative patterns where I can be vulnerable? Because I need that."
- Adrienne Maree Brown https://www.endoftheworldshow.org/blog/2018/5/8/in-the-pattern
uspol, abortion Show more
Given the plethora of weird-ass books I read, I'm always amused whenever I see "THIS IS NOT A CHRISTIAN BOOK!" in GoodReads reviews. Surprisingly, it happens a lot.
Just imagining Nancy from Tuesday night bible study reading Philip K. Dick kills me, every single time. Like, where did you even find this book, Nancy?
Bees are real real good
Buzz buzz buzz buzz and buzz buzz
You’re getting stung now
When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom Show more
Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, they had an honest-to-God burrow owl today.
HE WAS A DAREDEVIL! JUST LIKE HIS OLD MAN!
My husband claims that this is Me: The Bird because it's Goth Night Black™️ and has weird curly feathers on its head.
Maybe he has a point.
Well, here's me taking selfies with penguins because you can't take me anywhere, not even the National Aviary. Show more
We decided to go to the Aviary for real today!
I brought my owl backpack in hopes that a real owl will get confused and follow me home.
Fingers crossed.
PUSH! PUSH! STRUGGLE!
Half the guys on Tinder here have photos of themselves with a fish they caught. Their profile is either empty, or only states their height. So now I have an album full of fish guy screenshots on my phone, and I make finger drawings on them.
Well, back to either brooding silence or surreal shitposting. Whichever feels better today.
Slack grew out of Glitch, which was, and always will be, the most amazing game ever made. Six years after it closed, it still means so much to me that it's part of my pseudonym.
As such, I was kind of an alpha-tester for Slack. That means that I know the codes for the Glitch-related emojis hidden throughout.
I suppose Slack will always have a strange place in my heart, despite my disappointment in their policies.
Look at me, talking about something relevant.
Me in my pre-Slack days, making a crab hate everything about his life.
*taps mic gingerly* hello,
(no one shuts up)
*batters mic*
LOOK IM FAMOUS ON MASTODON
(crowd goes silent)
one person: what’s that
We got kids in baby prisons but people on Twitter are picking on WeRateDogs for goofing up and whitewashing some dog's name. Priorities, people. Whatever happened to fair and measured responses to things where the punishment actually fits the crime? People, even the most well meaning, are being turned into demons by their addiction to outrage. Simply being outraged doesn't make you a good person.
