Meryl, Darksynth for Brains @cmdr_nova@hackers.town

Hey there! I'm Meryl, i.e., Eyeshadow 2600 FM. I've been making electro/ambient/darksynth/retrowave since 2017. I spent a lot of time alone, in front of digital synths, after leaving my job with Walmart the first time (mega transphobia problem) and developed an anxiety disorder because of it. (please keep this in mind lol)

But I have returned to the Wall of the mart, and so continues the balance of retail and artist endeavors.

Outside of that I am a trans woman and I came out in 2012. Things have been extremely rocky, and HRT access even harder to keep. But wait, there's a light at the end of the tunnel?? maybe?

I'm into music (obviously), gaming (ps4, xbox, pc), goth girls, your girlfriend, cyberpunk, big tall glasses of water, space, the final frontier, star trek (separate from space, the final frontier) and way more lol

Check out what I do thought on Bandcamp, or support me on Patreon and help keep some of my paychecks in my pocket.

https://eyeshadow2600fm.bandcamp.com

https://www.patreon.com/mskavanagh

Wait a minute, these people at work are trying to low-key blackmail me for being upset cause they know thr managers got my back

Like yes, connecting with someone, spending every single day talking to her and becoming intimate with her, and then being completely cut out of her life fucked me up, it's not all roses and I don't feel like I should have to pretend to be happy for the benefit of people at work who also don't care about me lol

Like the other day I got angry at a coworker trying to boss me around like a manager and that'd part of what they took issue with, and also being negative and whatnot but like

Both our managers have my back, they've told me this, no matter what. Spending 8 hours or more 5 days a week masking my feelings is torture, being cornered like that I just didn't like it and I know there's something wrong with it i just can't put a name to it

A couple coworkers cornered me today and confronted me about how my destructive attitude is creating a negative workspace (and they don't want to go to management)

It's true I haven't been dealing well with what's happened the past month, but I feel extremely weird having been confronted like this

This woman from bumble is polyam and I entertained the idea of maybe giving it a shot, talked like very briefly about my bad experience and she even asked me to elaborate, and I think it scared her away lol

Don't wanna know about the bad stuff don't askkkkkkk

They say millennials and zoomers are the loneliest generations

Didn't know if that was true til I saw people looking for friends on dating apps

Thank you to those who picked up my music, would've said something earlier but work is horrendous and busy

It's Bandcamp friday, check out what I've done, prepare for what I might do in the future 😉

https://eyeshadow2600fm.bandcamp.com/

I feel like half of this catfish show is just a showcase about the cause and effect of people being shallow

This woman from bumble actually had an hour long convo with me

Long story short she knows where I park my car everyday and I gave her my #

Every time someone messages me on these dating apps I get mega vibes they're barely interested right from the get go and I just ghost them

But maybe I'm projecting because I'm still devastated

Watching Catfish, suddenly reminded me that I catfished a 40 yo woman on ICQ in the 90s when I was like 13 or 14 and I realize now how extremely fucked that was lol

This woman on bumble only looking for something casual but I'll try and make a connection anyway I'm tired of feeling shit about That Girl

Would you swipe right on my tinder bio lol

Why am I seeing trans men on the woman side of tinder

Watching Catfish, the way this guy talks about internet dating sounds like hes stuck in the 90s

I've nearly fixed my whole life and now I'm just obsessed with not going through life alone anymore lol

I matched with this punky goth girl on bumble, meaning we both hit like on each other

The frustrating thing is bumbles rules are the women have to message first lol i extended her message deadline to 48 hours, crossing my fingers

Ever since chick called me a narcissist for asking her to care about my feelings it's really bothered me, like what if I'm cluster b, what I'd that's the reason I'm unmarried and single

The end of the fucking world is a different kind of show