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if you imagine a songbird, alone,
the only waking thing in the vast, quiet half-light that hangs back after sunset and before true dusk,
in the cold,
eating berries,

flitting, finding the few that clung to life more than the leaves did, flitting,

all alone, hiding from the sky,

how do you think it feels? where will it go?
how could it still sing?

Am I weird for wanting, like, an 800x600 color CRT monitor (or *maybe* a slightly-higher-resolution one...) in/as part of my (imagined) eventual nest? Cause I kind of do.

It seems like these things are getting expensive though.

Is it still possible to, like, recover stuff like that from e-waste recycling or whatever? Though CRTs give off a kind of scary vibe to me, between the high voltage, possible radiation (I was warned about it as a kid anyway), and that I read that if jarred they can shatter in a very bad way.

whoah, this [life as a trans person] can fit so many [miserable & traumatic experiences] in it. no wonder we all like it so much

tech/network question 

Does anyone know what the current best practices/hardening/security things to know for setting up an SSH server you open to a local LAN that you'd prefer to not trust too much going forwards?

I mostly just know to: SSH-key auth only (disable password/keyboard-interactive login). I also know that there are, or were, 1-2 resources linked from the arch linux wiki page on SSH setup, but IDK if they're still good/current or ever were.

I'm kind of a noob at this and may be asking silly questions, sry.

(the application here is a 'server' type machine for myself. specifically on a pi, hopefully [which I already have. somehow])

re: computers; tedious details 

for anyone who is, improbably, following along, I had to edit the script from zetaoyang's `win` branch twice so far:

- to replace a reference to a zlib archive formerly hosted on `` to somewhere I actually (with a web search) found a presumed copy of said archive,
- to make a fragment that gets written out to (I assume) configure Meson for cross-compiling check to see if /usr/lib/ccache exists *before* trying to find compilers in there (and use /usr/bin if not.)

I'm glad I don't have to build the cross compiler myself, I probably would have given up at that point. (Building/bootstrapping a system/gcc/glibc/etc in general is weeeird... I tried awhile ago and gave up, don't know how anyone does it without just following linux from scratch guides, like, verbatim and hoping the incantations work.)

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fun with ardour

and by "fun with ardour" i mean "the closest thing you can get to an official buildscript for the dependencies for the apparently-canonical way to compile it for windows, which by the way means cross-compiling, is apparently just broken!" (It tries to pull in some dependencies that have link-rotted, including apparently a vulnerable version of `expat`)

I think maybe they just really don't want people building their own Windows binaries. Cause, yknow, then those people wouldn't have donated to the project!!

PSA, for e.g. anyone who might be helped by it but has financial barriers to actually paying them for stuff, is apparently a thing. I'm just trying to build it on my own machine because I'm too stubborn for my own good.

How can I feel like, or *be*, a real person?

Does anyone know the secret?

I feel lost.

Hrm. Okay, it seems like this happened because one of the directories (upperdir I think) didn't exist. Because I didn't change the name in both places.

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Why is this Ubuntu VM telling me that special device 'overlay' doesn't exist when I do, like, 'mount -t overlay overlay -o upperdir=...,lowerdir=...,workdir=... target'? I tried running 'modprobe overlay', no dice. Searching didn't turn up any references or documentation that might explain this, or that suggested any different form of the command.



re: plague thoughts 

i should have gotten one of those plush creatures that are supposed to be good for hugging or something whilst i had the chance

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plague thoughts 

i'm looking at the graph of COVID cases in this state. and like...

it sure is interesting how each 'wave' is larger than any previous waves, as a rule

will it end? what if it doesn't end until enough fundamental services--power, fuel availability, etcetera--are offline (due to lack of maintenance workers) to stop people coming into contact with each other at all? idk, idk. i feel like we can't go on like this. something has to give.

...i don't want to die alone in the dark like this.

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plague thoughts 

idk if I'd survive a longer-term power outage

idk if my *mom* would survive such an outage

reasons to be a cat:
- purr
- mew!
- soft and cute and sweet
- aloof and mysterious and magical
- fluffy!
- jump up on everything
- keeping you out of somewhere you want to go is like herding cats, literally

reasons to be a fox:
- soft and fluffy
- good packing algorithm and geometric properties; curls up neatly
- fluffy tailll!!
- pounce.
- terrifying fox screams to frighten your enemies with
- when anxious or sad, curl up around tail and hug it

the question is, can you be both at once?

re: angry sad lonely thoughts, 

(to be clear i'm not angry at anyone in particular. just... the world, my situation in general,)

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angry sad lonely thoughts, 

I wonder if I look okay to people here?

Cause I'm really not. I don't know how to get what I need and I barely know anyone in the first place. And I've never been good at making friends anyway.

Whatever "good at making friends" means.

Also like half of what I want socially/romantically(?) I'm not even sure if I should *mention* on this instance given the 'keep it mostly clean please' rule.

physical building/crafting question 

semi-serious thoughts -- let's say I want to, starting from basically zero, build a wooden structure to fit an existing space inside my room, supporting a bed, ideally with drawers or shelves underneath.

does anyone have a ballpark of how much this might cost? or like, if nothing else, a good place to learn about that stuff?


also: apparently my freebsd vm with 2gb memory can compile llvm (out of the ports tree, i'm not actually smart enough to put together a system myself) successfully, since now it's moved on to actual X-related packages.

quote from a fiction ("A Fire Upon the Deep") 

"...If during the last thousand seconds, you have received any High Beyond protocol packets from "Arbitration Arts", ... if they have been processed ... then the processing site and all locally netted sites must be physically destroyed AT ONCE. We realize that this means the destruction of solar systems, but consider the alternative."

I'm kinda glad this is just fiction. Haha.

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A bunch of technomancers in the fediverse. Keep it fairly clean please. This arcology is for all who wash up upon it's digital shore.