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I dislike everything I've ever said but I have the conviction to keep talking anyway


"Just a bit of sport", I say, using a small funnel to fill the squirt gun with gravy.
"I'll be outside with the dogs!"

made up country lyrics about Big Truck Couple I saw at 7 Eleven 

pullin' up my boots
and throwin' down the line!
goin' out for snacks
and towin' you behind!

no shirt, do a spin
no mask, double time!
we're chipin' an' a-dippin'
an' don't forget the lime!

got busted cracking apps,
now I'm on the hex offender's list

if you had your way:

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driving my car towards the red lights: those are probably for somebody else

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re: complete list of funny numbers (ascending order) 

@cat @zpojqwfejwfhiunz I knew this list was incomplete when it didn't start with negative farteen

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@zpojqwfejwfhiunz KRAMP™ E-Z LUBE™ Brand Vegetable Shortening Fourth of July Heritage Loaf™

complete list of funny numbers (ascending order) 


I have a mouth but only babble, I have a bed but never sleep, what am I?

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logging onto mastodon with my paid and closed source app

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instructions for reheating:
microwave on high for 2 minutes
OR 50% power for 3 minutes
OR 120% power for 96 seconds

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evolving one long skinny finger to get capers out of the jar

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A bunch of technomancers in the fediverse. Keep it fairly clean please. This arcology is for all who wash up upon it's digital shore.